


longing.

by alchemic



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Assumed one-sided love, Comfort, Complicated Relationships, Crushes, Denial of Feelings, Feelings, Fluff, Friendship, Multi, Pining, Secrets, Self-Doubt, Slow Burn, gender neutral reader, light cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26768854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemic/pseuds/alchemic
Summary: a small series of drabbles in which you and sans pine over each other.
Relationships: Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 18
Kudos: 108





	1. touch.

Sometimes… he wondered if you knew what you did to him.

Would you still talk to him the same way if you did…?

If you knew that every sweet word that left your lips had his head spinning in circles.

Or.. that every time you held him, he would melt at your touch.

Would you still laugh at his jokes if you knew that he’d spend all night coming up with them just for you?

Would keep smiling at him if you knew the way it made his soul stutter?

…Would you stay..?

If you knew how much he missed you.. when you weren’t there?

If you knew how long he would stare at your back when you walked away…

Wishing he could just say..

…

No..

You were..

Completely unaware, weren’t you?

Just like now, as you slept on Tori’s couch while the party settled down. There was distinct chatter not too far off in the backyard, everyone moving outside to watch the stars now that night had fallen. It was just the two of you in the living room, completely alone, and yet you both couldn’t be farther apart. Your chest rose and fell, in and out in a slow yet steady rhythm, and even the soft sounds of your breathing had Sans’ soul fluttering in his rib cage.

He had always wondered why you usually refused to drink at these get togethers. You had simply dismissed it before by saying you didn’t have a great tolerance for alcohol and then always got an earful of teasing from Undyne about it. Guess you finally just had enough today, pumping yourself to go shot for shot, and drink for drink with her.

It was impressive.

…Until the fourth one, which promptly had you dozing off in the middle of a poker game. They eventually moved you to the couch after a bit of protesting, and it wasn’t long after that until you fully fell asleep and everyone made Undyne promised not to tease you about it anymore. He never imagined you to be a sleepy drunk, instead just assuming it might amplify your already warm and friendly personality.

He certainly wasn’t disappointed though.

Watching you struggle to keep your eyes open during poker while resting your head on his shoulder had been..

Everything he wanted it to be.

And now seeing you slumber away so peacefully… 

…was leaving him even more conflicted than ever.

He sat on the armrest near your head, gazing down as you clutched one of the throw pillows while letting out a gentle snore. There was a bit of hair in your face from your slight tossing and turning, and he debated with himself if he really should.

He probably shouldn’t.

Well.. no, not probably.

He shouldn’t.

He really shouldn’t.

And yet..

He just… couldn’t help himself when it came to you.

Sans carefully reached down to brush the hair away, ever so softly running the back of his fingers across your cheek. Your skin was becoming a familiar sensation to him now, soft and warm to the touch with just a little give. You were a touchy person, always giving out gentle reassuring touches on the shoulders of your friends, or welcoming them warmly with a hug. He had been on the receiving end of many of those hugs, and each and every time he had to stop himself hold on just a little longer.

Never had he been so painfully aware of another person’s touch. 

Never has anyone ever caused his soul to thrum so loudly in his chest like you did.

Never did he ever once consider that someone could make him fall so hard…

Or so fast..

Like you did.

And here you were, so blissfully unaware of just… 

…how much he was in love with you.

…

He pulled his hand back, knowing he might be crossing a line touching you like that.

The two of you were just friends after all. 

Close ones for sure, but..

Just friends.

That’s all you were.

That’s all you could ever be.

Because someone so bright and radiant as you… would probably never even consider someone like him.

..It would be for the best. 

You deserved to have someone who shined just as brightly as you did.

And he would… let go of this eventually.

..Hopefully..

The sound of footsteps made him slide off the arm rest, trying to look a bit more casual by just leaning on the side of the couch.

“ARE THEY DOING OKAY?” Papyrus asked, entering the living room with a blanket.

“yeah they’re good. just snoozin’ away,” Sans replied with a shrug.

“GOOD!” he said, throwing the blanket open with a flourish before gently setting it on top of you.

You simply continued with your snoring, not even stirring to anything going on around you as you peacefully slept. 

Sans just couldn’t resist the smile that crept on his face.

“A SHAME THEY WILL BE MISSING OUT TONIGHT, BUT THE STARS SHOWERS ARE SUPPOSE TO LAST THE WHOLE WEEK, SO I’M SURE WE’LL HAVE PLENTY OF OPPORUNITUES TO WATCH WITH THEM!" Papyrus continued, neatly tucking you in and patting your head before taking a few long strides toward the backyard.

”..ARE YOU COMING?“

"yeah.. i’m coming,” Sans mumbled, taking in your sleeping features for just a few moments longer before following after his brother.

The sooner he could let go the better.

..For the both of you…

…Because right now, he’d even be willing to turn away from the stars..

Just to stay with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that i will also be posting here to store it with the rest of my writing. there is tiny overarching plot of you and sans being completely love-struck dorks, but other than that it's very loose and just a space to write more ut!sans content because i love him very much. thank you for checking reading!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ


	2. message.

It was like a ritual for the two of you, to text each other until you fell asleep.

Sans couldn't remember exactly how it started, or...

..When he became so dependent on it...

..But each and every night without fail, he'd let the hours just melt away as he chatted the night away with you. It was a comfort to have you there with him this late, even in text form. You'd ask if he got home safe and he'd reply with the usual 'yup. how about you?'. Then soon enough you'd share a funny video or meme with him that had him snickering to himself, and he'd send a quip back or a joke that he hoped had you laughing too. From there the two of you would go talking about everything and anything.

Your days.

Your moods.

Your thoughts.

..Your hopes.

...Your dreams.

The messages would flow so naturally between you two, without a pause or a lull.

It seemed like you both could just never run out of things to say.

Until..

The messages on your end would stop, a clear sign that you finally fell asleep.

It's not like he could blame you, it was nearly 3 AM, but a part of him wished the two of you would never stop talking. These conversations filled a lonely void in his soul that always formed when you were gone, and he'd always find himself wishing you'd stay up just a bit longer.. 

Because.. when you did finally fall asleep.. 

The moment he dreaded most would be here, where he was alone in a dark and quiet room with nothing to keep him company but an empty text message box and the same swarm of words that buzzed in his head every time he was here laying in his bed.

Night after night he found himself in this torturous hour, when he was still teetering on the verge of sleep but his mind kept screaming at him to just write it all out.

Just tell them!

Tell them how you feel!

The chance is right here, in the form of a little empty text message box just waiting to be filled with all the words he keeps thinking about, so why not just end this starsdamn cycle and let them know?

...

If.. only it were that easy to put how he felt into words...

...

' _hey? are you still awake?_ '

No, obviously they weren't. Erase it and try again, bonehead.

' _you know, even if there wasn't gravity on earth i'd still fall for you._ '

Nope.

' _do you know what kind of vegetable you'd be? a cute-cumber._ '

No..

' _if you were a fruit you'd be a fine-apple._ '

That really wasn't any better than the last one.

' _did it hurt? ya know.. when you fell from heaven?_ '

Nice. Very original...

...

' _did you know that i'm always thinking about you?_ '

Definitely not.

Sans ran a hand over his face as he sighed, his browbone furrowing as he erased everything he wrote, leaving the text message box empty once again. He felt ridiculous, laying here and marinating in his thoughts while typing out cheesy pick-up lines. 

There's no way you'd take any of that seriously.

Or him.. for that matter..

He was just your friend after all .

Just a goofy skeleton who tried to sum up his deep and complicated feelings for you with terribly generic one-lines because he had such a hard time putting how he felt into words. What, was he actually suppose to say, that he really was always thinking about you? That he adored everything you did and hung on to every word you said? That you lifted his whole mood just by walking into a room?

And that.. he loved you..?

A lot..?

And hoped that maybe... just maybe.. you'd felt the same way?

..Ugh..

The weight of his phone was finally too much as he rested his arm over his eyesockets, trying to settle his aching soul. 

..What he would give to just let all of this go. 

To be rid of this haunting feeling in his bones.

...

Telling you flat out would settle this whole thing quickly.

You'd turn him down and he'd no longer be left lying awake dreaming of the possibilities every night.

Dreaming of a world..

..Where you loved him too.

But.. he couldn't.

He couldn't just tell you.

He was too scared.

He didn't want to lose you.

He didn't want to lose these late night conversations. He didn't want to lose your warm smile. He didn't want to lose your hugs. Or your laugh. Or the cute way your eyes crinkled when he said an especially terrible pun. 

Or.. you.

The thought of losing you was terrifying.

So much so that it made his whole body clench tightly while he let out a small shuddering breath, not even wanting to humor the thought of what kind of face you'd make when he told you how he felt.

He wanted to keep that perfect imagine of your face smiling so brightly at him in his mind forever.

His poor soul just.. couldn't take it if you looked at him any other way.

So again.. for yet another night he'd let the chance to tell you slip away.

He'd fall asleep, thinking about you while clutching his phone and just wishing he'd have the strength to say...

' _I love you._ '

.....Right.. 

Like you'd actually send that...

You quickly erased the message away, letting out a huff as you stuffed your phone back under your pillow and quickly turned back over to steady your beating heart. You had been struck with a small boost of confidence a few moments before you finally drifted off to sleep, but as quickly as it came so too did it disappear. 

And so again for yet _another_ night...

You... couldn't tell Sans how you really felt.


	3. close.

Sans.. wasn't exactly sure where to look.

Of course, he wanted to look at you... but..

Being this close certainly made it hard to stare without being completely and totally obvious, so.. he settled for just lightly observing in your general direction.

Your gaze was currently fixed downwards to his chest, a small yet adorable look of both determination and frustration on your face as you attempted to carefully tug at the tie knotted around his neck. You had been doing your best to unravel the damn thing for the last few minutes but to practically no avail, another annoyed huff passing through your soft lips that lightly brushed against his skull.

"How.. exactly did you manage to do this again?" you asked, your eyes looking upward for a moment as he quickly glanced away. "It seriously looks like you were trying to practice origami, not tie a tie."

"well... ya know. just got distracted for a second and the _neck_ thing i knew i was a little _tied_ up," he said with a small shrug.

That at least got a chuckle out of you as you shook your head.

"Distracted by what exactly?"

You.

"just the event 'n all that," he mumbled quietly, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets and totally not trying to think about how amazing you looked all dressed up for the ceremony...

..Again..

"Fair enough," you hummed, gazing back down to resume your work on freeing him from the cloth snake coiled around his neckbones. "Guess I'd be pretty nervous too if I was giving a speech at a big function like this." 

"it's.. a little more of a comedy break than a speech really," he admitted, his eyelight naturally drifting right back to you. 

Sans had been 'strategically' placed between the state senator's long-winded and incredibly boring speech about human and monster relations, and good ol' King Fluffybun's equally long-winded but much more emotional speech about celebrating yet another year of being on the surface.

Ya know.. 

The same one that he does his best not to bawl his eyes out at, just like every year....

With a lineup like that it's no wonder they asked Sans to say a few words in between, just to make sure the crowd still had some kind of pulse.

"Is that why you've been practicing all your material on me recently?" you asked, a cheeky smile on your face. 

Yes.

Well.. that and he just liked hearing you laugh.. but..

"you're the best audience i could ever ask for, so of course i gotta use ya to practice."

There was a moment that passed where you let out a gentle hum, and he wondered if he might've laid it on just a bit to thick. Sometimes it felt like his mouth would go running off ahead before that empty skull of his could catch up. 

His soul just so easily supplied the words, and it felt like with each passing day his filter was letting more and more slip out.

"Glad I could help," you said, and he let out a breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding. "Although, you should've been using that time to properly learn how to tie a tie instead."

"that's why i've got you though, right?" 

Stars.. there it goes again, just saying whatever the hell it wants.

This time you glance up and grace him with such a sweet smile it nearly makes his soul stop.

..Being this close meant he could see you so much clearer.

Like how your cheeks looked just a bit chubbier when you grinned.

And.. how much your eyes sparkled under the hotel room's lights.

And.. how.. nice you smelled.

...

And how...

Being this close just..

Really... made him.. want to.. 

....

One of your fingers was finally able to wiggle inside the knot and pull something loose. 

The rest easily started to come undone and after a few more agonizing seconds, he was finally free.

"thanks," he said, letting out a small breath and lightly rubbing his neckbones as you leaned back.

He took a moment to compose his soul before reached out to grasp the tie out of your hands, but you quickly snatched it back, earning a look of surprise from the skeleton.

"Nope," you said, neatly smoothing the tie out before reaching towards him to straighten out his collar. "You had your chance and failed miserably, so now I'm going to tie it for you." 

And just when he thought he might catch a break, here you were again, just close enough to admire and yet so painfully far away. The way your fingers gently brushed against some of his neckbones sent chills down his spine, enough to almost make him rattle. His soul was practically buzzing with magic, the excess gathering as beads of sweat on top of his skull that quickly threatened to make their way down his face as he nervously glanced at anywhere that wasn't your face.

"You sure you're doing okay?" you asked, and he physically had to restrain himself from looking at you again.

"..do i not look okay?"

No... he didn't even have to see himself to know that.

His grin was tighter than usual and he was about to start sweating bullets. No doubt his face was probably flushing with magic too, so he must've looked a nervous wreck.

...One small peek at you confirmed that fact.

"..You look very handsome Sans."

.....

"..But yes you also do look a little iffy," you said, pulling his tie around for the final loop before tightening it just a bit and pulling his collar back down. "So.. won't you tell me what's on your mind?"

Oh by the stars he _wished_ he could.

Maybe then he could finally rid himself of this torture..

....But he couldn't..

No matter how much the storm of words brewed in his mind they just quickly died the moment he looked at your face, when his soul would light up and his mind would shut down, leaving him standing there like an idiot.

"what, are you telling me we're not psychically connected at this point?" he joked, trying to cover himself with humor as per usual. "we spend so much time together i just assumed you could read my thoughts at this point."

"Riiight," you said rolling your eyes and adjusting his suit jacket. "Like I could understand anything going on in that skull of yours."

Heh.

...Right..

"But I guess it couldn't hurt to try."

...Huh..?

.....

Sans swore he.. 

...felt his soul stop.

....And time... must've stood still...

....

You....

...very gently pressed your forehead to his as you closed your eyes.

..Your faces were so close that the distance could've been measured in centimeters.

Another soft breath passed through your lips and he could practically feel it dance across his face, the same eyesockets that had been blown wide just moments ago now tightly squeezing shut.

..There's.. no way you couldn't hear it...right?

..His soul..

And the way it was practically buzzing at his chest with you being so close.

.....

You were literally just..

A small adjustment away and.. 

...

He could..

.....kiss yo-

_Knock knock_.

He inhaled sharply as you pulled your head away to look back at the door.

"It's open!"

A familiar mess of brown hair curiously poked it's head inside the door before fulling stepping inside, giving a small wave to you both before gesturing.

' _Are you ready? They want to do a practice run._ ’

"....yeah.. i'll be there in just a sec kiddo," Sans said, trying to get a grip as he fiddled with his tie, avoiding the rather interested stare Frisk was giving him.

They gave a small thumbs up before slipping right back out the door, leaving the two of you alone yet again. 

..The silence that followed was almost.. painful.. but he couldn't think of anything to say. 

....He..

He had almost crossed that line!

He was totally about to go in for it!

He had almost..!

"Sans."

....!

"y-yes?"

"..You're going to do great out there," you said gently.

The smile that graced your face was warm as usual, your fingers reaching out to adjust his lapel one last time. 

"I'll be right in the front too cheering you on, so don't be so nervous, okay?"

"......right," he replied softly, eyelights glancing towards the floor.

..Right...

.......

.....Right...

..........

He took a small hesitant step aside, and then other, eventually making a small beeline for the door.

"...thank you sweetheart," he said softly, taking the handle in hand and swinging it open. "for the tie and um.. pep talk."

"Anytime," you said, straightening yourself out as he headed out into the hallway and closed the door behind him.

Despite being so close...

Neither of you heard each other's quietly muffled screams after the door clicked shut.


End file.
